The Meaning of Flowers and the Languages of Love

I realize that a psychology blog doesn't have much to do with botany, or flowers, or the purchasing or delivery of such goods. However, I often blog about relationships and there happens to be a certain holiday approaching that strikes fear into the hearts of many folks....Valentines Day. If you are coupled, or hoping to be coupled, you may be sweating about the best way to impress your sweetie. While everyone can certainly be different, in my experience many folks appreciate a delivery of flowers. This tends to score the most points if they are delivered ON Valentine's Day and AT their work in plenty of time for all of their co-workers to see how loved they are. 

I was recently solicited by a company that does reviews about posting on this blog. I've never before received such solicitation and would typically not be interested. But I have to admit that after going to their site I was very impressed at the level of research they conducted. Anyone who reads my blogs knows I LOVE research. So I decided to give them some free advertising, which hopefully wont' offend any of you. I am not getting any kick-backs from them nor did they pay me. I just happen to appreciate the leg work they did and I do agree that sending flowers can be a great way to show someone that you are thinking of them. 

They kindly provided this information about the meaning of flowers per the custom in Victorian times, when sending flowers was a way to covertly express sentiments:

Flowers have symbolic meanings.

Since ancient times, flowers have acted as meaningful symbols. The meanings of particular flowers vary wildly, but there are some standards that most flower dictionaries and guides, like Old Farmer’s Almanac, seem to agree on.

• Chrysanthemum: Cheerfulness
• Daisy: Innocence, Hope
• Iris: A message
• Lavender: Devotion, Virtue
• Lilac: Joy of youth
• Poppy: Consolation
• Red Rose: Love, Desire
• Violet: Loyalty, Faithfulness

If you are in the market for delivering flowers this Valentines Day and want a company that does same-day service and has been road-tested you may want to consider reading the reviews on this web site: http://www.reviews.com/online-flower-delivery/

If you aren't sure what's the best way to reach your beloved you might consider their "love language". You can take an online test here to determine your love language, and you can always email it to your honey as well to find out theirs. Once you know their love language it can be a lot easier to impress them! Learning my partner's love language answered my decades-long mystery of why my husband acted so proud when he would change the oil in my car. This is something that, prior to meeting him, I was fully capable of doing. When we met he decided it was going to be his thing. I thought it was just because he enjoys working on cars. Fast forward 10 years when I finally read the "love languages" book and I finally realized that it was because "acts of service" were his love language! I cringe to think of all of the times he was let down because I did not gush over his changing of my car's oil or his overhauling my bicycle. I just took these to be normal kindnesses but to him it was as if he was writing me a love poem or serenading me with a love song. Who knew! And especially since my love language is "words of affirmation". It also explained why when I did give him a card with a thoughtfully written passage he never saved it, but his eyes nearly glazed over with tears of gratitude when I made him a special meal. While I am not often much for "pop" psychology books this one, in my opinion, is worth reading. 

So go forth and do something special for your beloved this Valentine's Day. Relationships need care and feeding to flourish so make it a habit to speak your partner's love language frequently. 

Wishing you happiness and health in your connections,

​Dr. Jordan